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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529418">Broken Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/High_Flyer2001/pseuds/High_Flyer2001'>High_Flyer2001</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki has panic, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Prisoner Loki (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:26:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/High_Flyer2001/pseuds/High_Flyer2001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki had a... complicated relationship with death, he had cheated her many times and had honestly thought Thanos has finished him off once and for all. Apparently that wasn’t the case. </p><p>A year after the Battle of Earth the Avengers were finally beginning to settle down... apart from Bucky. Whilst the rest went on missions to save the world the ex-assassin spent his time wandering the compound like a ghost. </p><p>Apparently, fate had different plans for them. These two broken souls were thrown together and only time would tell if they could heal each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Avengers Team, James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki, Loki &amp; Avengers Team, Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Broken Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki had danced with death many times. He and death had an odd relationship, for the longest time he craved her sweet embrace… only for it to be snatched from his grasp at the last second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time was his fall from the Bifrost, after so many decades of living in Thor’s shadow he had grown so tired. Tired of being the “second prince”, tired of constantly being a disappointment to dear old Odin, but most of all… he was tired of pretending that everything was okay. Snapping was inevitable, a mind is like an elastic band- it can only stretch so far before it breaks, and Loki’s snapping had been explosive. His actions had been fuelled by adrenaline, his choices fuelled by rage that had been festering for a millennia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then he fell from the bifrost into the abyss below and he expected that to be it, after that there would be nothing but blissful silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t that lucky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki’s body may not have died during his time with the Other… but his mind definitely did.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second time was on Svartalfheim and he’d practically sacrificed himself. Surprisingly being impaled didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, or perhaps it hurt so much his brain was overloaded and simply numbed out the feeling which was a possibility. He remembered being cradled in Thor’s lap, the older man’s face was blurry through his tears but he could easily see the distraught look adorning his features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His brother called him a fool, he couldn't bring himself to disagree. He could feel himself going, the numb pain became a constant throb in his torso whilst his skin adopted a sickly grey hue. His mind was at peace- he had helped Thor and his lady in their endeavour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was his body that had failed him this time and he was fading fast, but he was so ready for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So you can probably imagine his disappointment when he woke up an unknown amount of time later, only this time there was no Thor or Jane… only a few stray Dark Elf bodies and the telltale pool of blood beneath him. The wound that should have killed him (did kill him?) had healed but his armour was shredded meaning he could see the silver web of scar tissue it left behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki didn’t know what hurt more- the fact that he was alive (again), or that Thor didn’t take his body to be buried. Well, he was a Jotuun after all… monsters didn’t deserve a proper send off. But he didn’t let that deter him, so he did what came natural to him!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He banished Odin to Midgard and took his place as King of Asgard. Really, what did they expect?</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Getting thrown from the Bifrost mid-flight wasn’t a pleasant experience, as his body plummeted his mind was thrown back to his fall. The feeling of nothing rushing past reminded him all too much of falling into </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> grasp, being trapped in his head made him hesitate in pulling his seidr forward to do something (anything)- that split second pause proved to be disastrous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was awake long enough to register a couple of things- he was lying in trash (yes actual trash), the place smelt like burning corpses and that he was surrounded. Those who circled him (maybe five or six of them?) were clothed in filthy rags and had their faces hidden by the oddest looking masks, Loki would have commented on them if it wasn't for the variety of weapons they held.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, one of them yelled and the ragtag group charged at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki’s body was on autopilot as he took down one after another, his instincts clawed at him to reach for a weapon- or anything really- but his seidr was just too weak. So he made do with his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spun and stepped around each of them, blocking their attacks and striking when a gap in their defences was presented. It was graceful, like a dance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were all nothing but bodies scattered at his feet Loki took a second to really survey the scene around him and to catch his breath. It was disgusting, Midgardians may have called it a ‘landfill’ but all he saw was a place for broken and unwanted things to go, and of course he had ended up dumped there- the irony was not lost on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that was impressive,” came a voice from behind him. Spinning around revealed a blurry figure, perhaps his seidr was more depleted than he first thought. The voice told him it was a woman and the blur told him she had dark skin and even darker hair. “If you could follow me that would be just great,” she finished lazily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki couldn't help but chuckle, even if it did come out as more of a drunken hum, “I’m very sorry but I must get back to my throne so I must say no-“ he didn’t even get to finish the sentence before a current stronger than anything Thor had ever given him rushed through his system, lighting every nerve ending on fire in the process. He was pulled back under the blanket of sleep before he’d even hit the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Returning to the land of the living was a slow process, as his brain tried to engage itself he heard clips of conversation around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh he is a pretty one isn’t he,” he felt something stroke his cheek, “not much of a fighter by the looks of it.” If Loki were more lucid he would’ve snapped back at the new voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He took down six Scrappers,” another voice stated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hard to picture…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But imagine you would find some use for him, what was it you said? They’re either good for battle or for your…. other interests.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Indeed my dear.” That first voice seemed far closer than a fully lucid Loki would be comfortable with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want eight million for him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'll give you seven.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait, what was happening?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a brief pause filled with the sound of a hammer rattling around in his skull he heard a quick “deal” before a set of footsteps started to fade. The last thing Loki registered was that hand on his cheek again and a sly chuckle before he was pulled back into unconsciousness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His time with the Grandmaster did nothing but shatter his dignity.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The final time happened so quickly. One second he’d been helping Valkyrie tend to some of the refugees, the next thing he knew the Statesman was under attack, then he was standing before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Mad Titan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thanos.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Being in his presence made Loki’s skin crawl and he had to force down unwanted memories that tried to push themselves to the forefront of his mind. The presence of the Black Order surrounding them did not help in the slightest, each scar they’d left him with seemed to sting at the unpleasant memories. He tried his best to put up his cocky self assured mask but that cracked when the Titan roughly grabbed Thor’s head, Loki was well aware he could crush his brother like a grape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he handed the Tesseract over whilst his stomach twisted itself into knots. His instincts told him to run, his love for his people made him stay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tesseract for his brother’s life… his brother’s life saved at the consequence of the universe’s fate. In all honesty he had no clue what the right choice was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So much happened in so little time, the space stone was added to the gauntlet. Loki tried to worm his way onto the Titan’s good side (for what purpose he wasn't really sure) before he panicked, conjured a dagger and blindly swung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, there was cold metal wrapped around his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki couldn’t breathe, the Titan’s grip only got tighter the more he struggled like a constrictor. Panic flooded his system, his spine could only handle so much pressure before it broke. He may be a god but the Mad Titan was stronger… so much stronger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pressure around his throat grew and he flailed his legs in a vain attempt to escape, but of course it did nothing but make Thanos’ smile grow. He always did like to watch his prey squirm.  His vision began to swim, that sadistic smile became a blur as he choked and unconsciously sobbed, only for those cries to get trapped in his windpipe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was going to die at Thanos’ hand, just like the Other had promised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where we cannot find you. You think you know pain? We will make you long for something as sweet as pain.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though words got tied in his throat he managed to choke a few out, “You... will never be... a god.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He vaguely registered the Titan’s deep rumbling voice cutting through the ringing in his ears, like a knife through flesh, “no resurrections this time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart battered his rib cage as the sickening crunch of his spine was heard, he was reaching his breaking point. His eyes felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets and his limbs had gone numb a long time ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Titan chuckled and tightened his grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SNAP.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then all he knew was darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki had always expected being dead to be a tranquil affair, after all the dead had no goals. Their time was up and it was time for someone else to take their place in the universe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Falling from the bifrost was relieving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fading in Thor’s arms was peaceful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Being on Sakaar was numbing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dying by Thanos was… different, it felt more final.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki could feel his body, but it felt as though he was hidden under a thick duvet and he was enveloped in a warmth that only seemed to make itself known on a winter’s morning. The feeling was reminiscent of the mornings he would spend tucked away in his room as a boy, when Thor would bang on his door demanding that he should go spar with him and his friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was lovely but it was also… odd. Surely the dead had no use for a body. Suddenly, that thick duvet was ripped away and the feeling in his limbs came back all at once- he couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Opening his eyes was a tricky affair, it seemed like they were sealed shut with sleep as if he’d fallen into a deep slumber... only he didn’t feel rested at all. After a millennium he managed to rip his eyes open, only to be met with mangled metal, rubble scattered across the floor and an eerie silence that instantly put him on edge. With a pained groan he rose to his feet, or rather he stood up right only for his legs to turn to jelly before he finally managed to stand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He instantly recognised where he was- the wreckage of the Statesman. With shaky legs he stumbled over to the first pile of bones he saw but instantly regretted it, a skeleton sat slumped against a boulder not too far from where Thor had been trapped. The dark armour, decayed dreaded locks that had fallen to the floor and gold sigils around the eye sockets confirmed his suspicions that these remains could only belong to one person- Heimdal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, no, no, Heimdal couldn’t be dead! He was a person that had always been around since before Loki had even been born, throughout everything the gatekeeper had been the one constant. Always there to welcome them home, even after New York he had nodded to the traitor prince when others had sneered and shouted abuse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heimdal being dead felt wrong… like the Universe was suddenly off kilter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a shaky breath he lowered himself to sit next to the gatekeeper and raised a hand to trace a finger along the gold wisps that trailed along the white cheekbone, he did his best to ignore the prominent gap in his rib cage- who would have thought that Asgard’s Gatekeeper would be felled by a blade? Exhaustion crept up on him and he couldn’t help but welcome its embrace as he dreamt of simpler times, he was just thankful no one around him was alive to see the tears that escaped.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky had an… uncomfortable relationship with death. She had extended her invitation to him many times but he had yet to accept.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His first time in HYDRA’s grasp was when the 107th had been captured, Zola had spent countless hours pumping him full of random chemicals and putting his body under extreme stress. He wasn’t the only one, he could still remember the haunting screams coming from the the men around him, and the sickening sight of bodies being dragged past his cell with no respect shown- the smell of burnt flesh was a sure fire sign of what they were doing with the subjects that didn’t make it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that all seemed like a walk in the park after wheat he then had to endure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seventy years he spent acting as their deadly puppet. Seventy years of blindly following orders, killing innocents because some rich asshole said so and being stuffed into a freezer until they needed ‘the asset’ again. The worst part were the memories, Steve seemed to think he needed help remembering what happened… no, he needed no help in that department.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember them all,” he’d told Stark and it was true. He remembered every face, every set of pleading eyes and every name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every. Single. One.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They haunted his dreams. His talks with Shuri had helped, and along with Stark’s B.A.R.F technology he was “coming along leaps and bounds” according to the inventor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So why didn’t he feel any different?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His panic attacks had decreased but he still felt so… lost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The phrase ‘man out of time’ was something Bucky related to on an intimate level. Physically he blended in apparently, his new black (with a hint of gold) arm wasn’t as eye catching and his complexion looked a bit healthier- thanks to regular meals from Shuri and Miss Potts combined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a year since the “The Battle of Earth” as the public had christened it. A whole year since fifty percent of the population was restored, it was odd to think that twelve months ago the world was stuck in a depressive state- he didn’t like to think about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if he had been gone for those five years he’d heard enough from Steve and read enough in articles to understand that those years had been as close to hell as they could get. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first month they’d spent recuperating, the battle took its toll on all of them- Stark the most. Snapping the gauntlet had very nearly killed him, if it wasn’t for the combined effort from Doctor Strange, Princess Shuri and Doctor Banner the inventor would definitely be dead. The rest of them spent the time resting and licking their wounds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The months after that was spent trying to get the population back to normal, emphasis on trying. After bringing back fifty percent of all life the returners didn’t fit back into society as easily as they hoped, most people had moved on. Houses had been resold, new relationships formed and people had generally started to get their lives back on track. For most of them five years was more than enough time to mourn. So Stark spent his recovery period organising areas for refugees to go and keep warm, and food for them to eat, whilst Miss Potts (or was it Mrs Stark?) put his plans into actions and the rest of the Avengers did the heavy lifting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was how he found himself moving crates of food from a truck into one of the larger tents. It was an easy task for the ex-assassin but one he enjoyed, he didn’t have to think too much as he hefted boxes around. He’d just finished stacking the last crate when he left the tent and came face to face with Steve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Buck,” he smiled and he tried to smile back but it came off as more of a grimace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he returned and came to a stop next to his lifelong friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clint is just finishing off sorting the community area… Sam and Wanda are doing a great job of keeping the kids entertained. Turns out they are </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazed</span>
  </em>
  <span> by mechanical wings and flashy red glowing hands,” he finished with a chuckle. Bucky just nodded, he couldn’t quite bring himself to laugh along with him. “I was thinking we could head over and meet them? I’m sure the kids would just love it if </span>
  <em>
    <span>five</span>
  </em>
  <span> Avengers were there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A flash of panic shot through his system, images of children with fear etched onto their faces shot through his mind. He was a Hydra assassin, what child wouldn’t be scared of that? “I don’t think that’s a good idea Steve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Why not? It’ll be great!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No Steve I’m sorry, I have… stuff to do.” He was just about to head back towards the van when the sound of frantic uneven steps could be heard. Both men forgot about the brewing argument and turned to face the sound. It was then a red-cheeked slightly panicked looking spider kid came skidding around the corner, Peter Parker if he remembered correctly- though his memory wasn’t what it used to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys! Mr Rogers Captain Sir! Mr Stark says, oh my god,” he stopped his rambling for a moment to bend over with his palms on his knees to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Peter, just take a deep breath and try again,” Steve reasoned, ever the wannabe peacekeeper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally looked back up at them he carried on his rambling a little slower and calmer, “Mr Stark says he wants you back at the compound, there’s something all of you need to see.” With his speech finished he stood there with his hands behind his back. How could the spider that kicked his ass at the airport look so damn… innocent? It made him feel all kinds of guilty about even considering hurting him whilst the Civil War raged on, not knowing he was only a kid was no excuse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve’s face adopted his serious expression and he quickly turned into Captain America, “right. I will go and get the others, Peter take Bucky back to the Compound. We will meet you there,” with that he jogged off towards the community area… leaving Bucky alone with the spider kid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They exchanged smiles, “I would’ve rung but I dropped my phone mid-swing last night and I haven’t had a chance to replace it…” the kid said sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, let’s go,” in all honesty Bucky had absolutely no clue how to talk to anyone younger than him… or older than him either. Talking wasn’t his strong suit in general. With no more prompting the kid waved for him to follow and he led him back through the seemingly endless makeshift streets between the tents, eventually they reached the woodland path that would lead them back to the compound.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t taken long for their base to be rebuilt after the battle, the foundations were in one piece so all it took was for the walls and roofs to be constructed. With the help of some Wakandan engineers it didn’t take long for the building to be completed. As for where the actual battle took place, that had been flattened for the refugee camp to be built.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What a nice way to throw the middle finger at the wrinkly purple bastard,” Stark had reasoned, nobody had disagreed with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they walked the kid hummed an upbeat tune and Bucky took in the peaceful sounds around him: birds chirping, the sound of waves knocking against the shore not too far away and their footsteps, their incredibly calm footsteps…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we be, ya know, going faster?” He asked, the kid stopped his humming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I said it was an emergency but if it was a proper emergency Mr Stark would’ve run down here himself even if Happy tried to hold him back. But he sent me, meaning it's only, like, a grade three emergency at most.” He finished with a shrug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Out of?” When the kid turned to give him a confused look he had to elaborate, “three out of what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Out of five, it's the ‘danger-meter’ me and Shuri came up with.” He left it at that, like that explanation should have enlightened Bucky. If anything it just confused him more. The rest of the journey was spent in silence and soon they had reached the Compound main doors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The building itself was pretty much the same as he’d seen it on the internet, before the first snap, the most noticeable differences being the extra garages, the extension on the back to accommodate the ever growing team and the wall. The wall to the left of the main doors had been made into a memorial to remember those lost in the final battle, it was mostly Wakandan soldiers but the odd sorcerer, Asgardian and alien ally were dotted around. He didn’t spend too long looking at it, when it was first built he’d spent hours memorising each and every name- they deserved to be remembered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he just couldn’t bring himself to read </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon the Avengers that were available were huddled in the ‘Communal Lab’ as Stark called it. The man himself was leaning against the wall by a large holoscreen, the kid was at his side whilst Doctor Banner fiddled with something technical looking opposite him. Steve, Sam, Wanda, Clint, Mr Rhodes and himself stood waiting in anticipation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s the emergency?” Steve asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right!” Stark seemed to come alive suddenly “So about three hours ago we got a message from the Guardians, still can’t believe they call themselves that, about a random energy burst from a wreckage not too far from here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why don't they deal with it?” Wanda questioned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re busy on some other job, which is why they thought we could handle it. The real problem came when I ran the energy signature through Friday’s database…” he moved to pull something up on the holoscreen, “this is what she came up with.” The screen revealed a map of some sort of wreckage and a radius drawn around it with a smaller circle in the middle. There was also a tone of information displayed, none of which Bucky understood and it made him feel like a three year old trying to understand advanced algebra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s so bad about this? I mean space is weird, random energy can’t be all </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad right?” Clint asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Legolas, this energy signature is identical to the time stone,” silence enveloped the lab. Even if Bucky wasn’t completely up to date on the happenings of the world he was pretty sure the infinity stones had been shrunk down by Thanos… which is why they had to do the whole time heist in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Steve voiced his thoughts Doctor Banner simply nodded and shrugged, “we have no idea how this has happened but I think we need to investigate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone else hummed in agreement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… who’s going?” The kid asked, the excitement in his eyes was almost endearing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I can't go, Pep would skin me alive with my damn arm the way it is,” Stark stated, unconsciously flexing his right hand fingers, “how about this: Rogers as leader, Doc Hulk for brains, Rhodey as the heavy hitter and… Clint as pilot?” The kid seemed to deflate at his choice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Steve just nodded, “sounds good. Three hours to suit up and we will meet at the ship,” with that, he marched out of the room leaving everyone else to filter out in their own time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky couldn’t help but release a sigh of relief, he just wasn’t ready for a mission yet.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three hours had gone by far too fast, he’d spent the first hour organising his wardrobe (anything to distract himself), the second hour was spent panicking in the shower (though he’d never tell anyone that), and the last hour was spent sat on the bench out back trying to get his nerves under control.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was the most infamous assassin in the past seventy years and he was reduced to a nervous mess at the thought of the Avengers going on a mission, he wasn’t even on the roster… he was truly pathetic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when the three hours were finally up he found himself standing near the jet’s boarding ramp as he watched the selected team settle in for the journey. Rhodes secured his armour in place before taking a seat at the front of the jet with Clint beside him as co-pilot, Steve was storing his shield away whilst Banner messed with what could only be described as a modern looking coffin. Stark was talking to one of the sorcerer people. The mystery man was dressed in blue robes and a red cape, overall he gave off a vibe of “I know better than you,” and Bucky made a mental note not to disagree with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys!” Stark gathered their attention, “seeing as Strange here,” he waved his hand at Mr Know-It-All, “knows the most about the time stone I’ve asked him to tag along… plus if it’s magic related he can sort it out.” With a final nod Strange moved and disappeared into the jet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He somehow managed to catch Steve’s eye and the blonde sent him a look that said, “you okay?” But before Bucky could say anything (mostly along the lines of ‘please don't go’) he was interrupted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think we’re ready to go!” Mr Rhodes yelled and Stark yelled back a quick “good luck Platypus!” Before the ramp sealed the jet shut and the engines started. It took less than five minutes for Bucky to be left alone with his thoughts, after the roar of the engine the silence he was left in was deafening.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
They were gone for three days- for Bucky those days had been sent with Sam at the camp. The distraction was good.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was late in the afternoon when he found himself sitting on the bench looking over the lawn, for the past hour he’d been watching small birds skip along the freshly cut lawn.  He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t doing anything, he was just existing… and it was so relaxing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So you can imagine how confused he was when he felt someone sit by him on the lonely bench, looking to his right revealing the spider kid with his nose buried in his phone/ his fingers seemed to move at light speed across the screen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you texting?” He questioned, why did he say that? He'd Said it so quietly he thought he wouldn't be heard… then he remembered the kid had enhanced senses when brown eyes met his gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me? Yeah I am,” came his reply. Bucky nodded, in all honesty he had no idea what to say, conversing wasn’t his strong suit. So he simply opted to… just not do it, apparently the kid didn’t get the memo as he kept talking. “It’s my friends Ned and MJ… it’s mostly Ned cos I said he can’t bring his</span>
  <em>
    <span> entire</span>
  </em>
  <span> Star Wars Lego set with him tonight.” He had a soft smile on his face as he waved his phone around as he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s happening tonight?” Damn, this kid was weirdly easy to talk to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Movie night! Both Ned and MJ are coming over,” he couldn’t help but smile at the excitement that shone in the kid’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They sound like nice people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are, you really have no idea!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He decided to leave it at that, his head hurt from the conversation all ready. They spent the next half an hour sitting in comfortable silence as Peter texted his friends and Bucky watched the birds squabble over worms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was until Friday’s voice filtered in from the kid’s phone. “Peter, Sir would like you to be notified that the mission team are returning, T minus: ten minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peter perked up at that, “oh good! I gotta go!” With a quick wave he’d disappeared back into the compound, and just like that the soldier was alone with his thoughts again.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>That night was… odd, and by that he meant he couldn't find anyone anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kitchen? Empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The shared living space? Empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even ducking his head into Steve’s room left him empty handed, to make it worse his bed was still made… as if he hadn’t returned after the mission…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His breath suddenly caught in his throat and no air reached his lungs, panic flooded his system lighting each nerve ending on fire. His vision quickly became blurry and as his back hit the wall he slid down to the floor before bringing his knees to his chest. The dark corridor he was in transformed before his eyes into the desolated, groggy corridors of the HYDRA bases- screams of captured agents would echo off the walls and the smell of bodily fluid stung his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When a hand touched his shoulder he reacted on instinct like a cornered tiger. He vaguely registered his arm swatting the hand away before he rose to his feet (in a way that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>far</span>
  </em>
  <span> too smooth for an unstable man), his metallic hand clamped around the soft flesh of a throat. Without a second thought he slammed the attacker into the wall and held them there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was about to call for his handler when broken words cut through to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Buck… Bucky… it’s me… Steve!” And just like that the memory shattered like glass and he was face to face with his best friend… with his fake hand holding him by his throat. With a shocked gasp he tore his body away from the blonde and backed up until his spine hit the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d attacked Steve, he couldn't be trusted. He was going to get thrown out, or locked up… or sent back to HYDRA- the thought sent a shiver up his spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the snide voice at the back of his head said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re just a dangerous dog that needs to be muzzled.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even register Steve leading his back to his room, or being nudged into his bed. He didn’t register the soft words his friend spoke to him, tales of the life they’d both been forced to leave behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dreaming was something Loki wasn’t a fan of. More often than not he was plagued by memories of his time with the Grandmaster and </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his time in the void and his many… many deaths. But right now he was dreaming of the nicer things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were sat in the All-Mother’s private garden, the variety of colours could rival the bifrost and it was truly beautiful- almost as beautiful as the woman that planted and nurtured them. A hand ran through his hair and he couldn't help but sigh as he rested his head on a dress covered knee. The hand rubbed and scratched slightly at his scalp in a way that almost forced him to drift off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was nice. He didn’t have to think about his next sparring session or his next audience with Odin, or even how he could hide his secret seidr sessions from the judgmental eyes of the Asgardians. His mind was blissfully empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scalp massage continued even when a soft voice spoke, it was Frigga’s voice, “you were such a small infant when you were born.” Found, she meant found, “we feared you wouldn’t make it, we worried you wouldn’t be strong enough. But look at you now, all grown up…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scratching stopped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you are still weak,” the hand on his scalp suddenly turned malicious, and gripped his hair tightly before snapping his head to the side. A second hand gripped his throat and the scene before him changed as he was lifted off the floor by his neck. The garden morphed into the crashed Statesman and Frigga’s kind, gentle, loving face melted into the face of Thanos.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Terror left him motionless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Titan said nothing but simply smiled as Loki struggled and thrashed his legs weakly (always weak).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We will make you long for something as sweet as pain,” the Other’s filthy voice filtered in through the fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hand tightened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His breathing stopped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then everything faded into black.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki was thrown back to the land of the living far too quickly, it felt like his soul had been tossed back into his corpse- that wasn’t too far from the truth really. He sat up too quickly, it was like his mind was lagging a few seconds behind his body. The first thing he registered was that his skin was on fire, his flesh seemed to burn and felt as though it would peel off at any second. His vision was blurry and no amount of lazy blinking was helping, it felt like his eyelids were being weighed down and his vision was obscured by glazed glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In all honesty he felt hungover.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When his vision finally did clear he saw that he was in a box? No, a room. He realised he was sitting on a cot of some sort with a mattress that he could easily sink into. The walls to his left and right were a clear white whilst straight ahead of him the wall was made completely of glass… glass that was frozen over, what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His head was thumping like a migraine was forming but he still managed to raise a hand… only to see blue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His skin was blue, oh no. He was in his (natural) jotuun form.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly his lungs seemed to stop working only for his heart to beat twice as hard. Cold dread overwhelmed every inch of his body whilst his skin still felt like it was being burnt raw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was panicking. This had to be a trick of Thanos, had the Titan murdered him and stolen his body in the thin hope that Loki would come back? For what? To be used as a torture toy? That seemed perfectly in character for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved to run a hand through his hair but violently flinched when that deep shade of blue entered his vision. He was a Jotuun, a first giant runt- he was a monster. Looking up into the frosty glass he saw something that made his blood run cold- two blood red eyes staring back at him. His heartbeat took over his hearing and his vision became blurred again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was back in Thanos’ clutched and he’d forced him into this hideous form!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With erratic movement he scrambled to the floor and wedged himself in a corner, just like he’d done whilst he was under the Titan’s control the first time. He tucked his head into his knees and hid from the world- he probably looked crazed but he couldn't bring himself to care.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stayed in the corner for at least a few hours however time meant nothing to him as he sat curled in his corner, the cell was still an insufferable temperature and he had to try and get him breathing under control- he couldn’t pant, that would let Thanos know he was winning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then the first noise was heard from outside his cell, shouting. The voice sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it, as the voice got closer others joined in and before he knew it there was seemingly an all out shouting match just beyond the frozen glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is on our side! Let him go!” The first voice bellowed, he had to control a flinch at the volume- he vaguely recognised the voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doc B told us about your adventure on the trash can planet and yes, he may be okay-ish now but we have to be on the safe side! I’m sure you understand that Thor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor? His brother? His brother! Without a second thought he crawled over to the glass and smacked his fist into his desperately, “Thor! Thor, please!” He didn't care if his voice cracked or sobs interrupted his words… or even if this was one of Corvus Glaive’s tricks, he was a desperate man at the end of his tether.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It only took a second for a door to slide open in the glass, causing the ice to chatter and fall to the floor like a broken mirror. Then a large (slightly round) man was approaching him, he automatically shuffled backwards back into his corner  but paused when a distinct smell invaded his senses- scorched earth and grass after rain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This man was Thor, definitely Thor, the one thing Glaive could never get right were scents. Just like that all the relief flooded his system but his muscles remained tense, even if the little boy in him wanted to be hugged like a child- pathetic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor seemed to sense his discomfort and halted his approach. “Hush Loki, you are safe now,” he whispered as he crouched to Loki’s level. The soft words seemed to rip open the flood gates as sobs ripped from his throat, he cried into his hands and Thor simply offered a comforting smile through his crying fit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he’d stopped wailing (like a newborn) he felt drained- but then the pain hit. His throat ached, swallowing hurt and trying to talk sent a stabbing pain into the back of his throat- he couldn’t contain the groan that escaped him as he raised a hand to rub his sore neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seems like the pain relief has worn off,” he raised a hand to touch him, when the Jotuun violently flinched Thor didn’t back down this time and placed a hand on his blue arm- a dangerous move. “By the Norns Loki, your skin is far too warm.” He turned to the door and yelled, “Stark! Turn the temperature in here down! Below freezing if you would.” A quick ‘sure’ was heard before a blissfully cold breeze swept through the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He instantly felt more at ease, his muscles relaxed and the strain on his seidr was released- he must have unconsciously been trying to make the room colder, no wonder he felt so drained. It was then Thor’s rumbling voice pierced the silence, “sleep Loki, you have earned rest,” but here refused to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had slept enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So instead he remained curled up in the corner and watched the now clear glass as figures moved past it- he was too delirious to figure out who they were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After about ten minutes Thor left and re-sealed the door, he was left in silence once again.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Constructive criticism is always welcome so feel free to leave a comment saying what you think! Xx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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